Well Bacon Nation, here they come again, year after year like a bad penny. The haters, the folks downstairs from the party who want to call the cops at 7pm instead of coming up to have a beer. Her rallying cry is “Death to Bacon!” Seriously? Why not “Death to Puppies!” or “Death to Rainbows!”?
Ms. Garvey, I don’t mean to be 150% dismissive of your grievances against Baconmania. Your zeal to challenge what for many of us is a genetically hard wired passion, is… admirable… I guess. But there is a Greek King I’d like to introduce you to named Sisyphus… I suspect you’ll have a lot in common.
Not our first rodeo with the anti-bacon faction, and if I may be so lazy as to quote myself:
Dear Mr. Tamarkin, Mr. Fischer, etc. etc. Ms. Garvey,
In response to your article anti the holiest of meats, I must say this:
Whilst dismissing the nation’s bacon-zeal as a mere “fad”, please remember, the Beatles too were a “fad”. But their essence, versatility and joy will outlive us all. Though Beatlemania has receded, new generations of music-lovers still continue to discover their genius. So too will new generations of food-lovers continue to discover and to relish the endless flavorful wonders inherent in the very essence of Bacon. During these halcyon days of Baconmania, do not let cynicism mute love. For to us and to many, Bacon IS Love. And Love, in all forms of expression, should be encouraged to flourish.
Just as the Beatles once sang “All you need is love” as a palliative to the darkening global landscape around them, we at Baconfest, joined by over 100 amazing chefs from some of the best restaurants in Chicago, as well as a chorus of bacon-loving attendees, sing loudly and proudly: “All you need is Bacon!”
6:05 p.m. CST, February 26, 2012
“You guys, there is bacon dental floss now. There are bacon-flavored envelopes.
It’s not even funny anymore.
It’s no passing pig fancy, either. As the Baconfest website tells us, “Bacon was NEVER a ‘fad,’ and Bacon will NEVER be ‘over.’ Bacon is FOREVER.”
I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a challenge to me.
I say the bacon lunacy has gone far enough. It is time for the rational among us, the vegetarians, the Jewish, the health-conscious, the Muslim, the vegan and the people who just plain don’t need bacon at every meal seven days a week to rise up and demand that we be heard.
We must seek out the dumb recipes that include bacon where it doesn’t belong and rail against the restaurants that weirdly insert bacon into every dish.
Bacon will be returned to its right and proper place, beside two over-easy eggs or occasionally decorating a cheeseburger.
We, the bacon-sane, must not be pushed aside anymore in favor of the slobbering bacon groupies who can’t shut up about bacon, who write love poems to bacon, who create websites and books to immortalize their bacon devotion. We must unite to overthrow our bacon overlords.
Our rallying cry:
“Death to bacon!”
firstname.lastname@example.org | @gcgarvey